Break the rules. Pay the price.

Ivan and I were talking the other day.  I leave for my trip in 10 days and as the excitement and sadness draws in it makes me say crazy things.  Ivan said to me “Don’t forget me while you’re gone babe” and I replied with “Don’t enjoy me being away too much!”.  He laughed nervously and said “Of course I won’t…”.

This got us in to a discussion about “rules” for each other while I was away.  Ivan being a typical bloke didn’t have any for me other than to ensure I return to him safely.  I on the other hand managed to rattle off quite a few reasonable requests.

One of Ivan’s friends once told me that I was too hard on Ivan because he was only allowed to “look but not touch” at Calendar Girls and because I wasn’t too keen on letting Ivan get a happy ending there either…*eye roll*

Being the reasonable girlfriend that I am, I decided to keep the list short and achievable.

  1. No 10/10 fun without me. 8/10 max seems fine to me.
  2. No kissing other girls. Mum and sister is fine.
  3. Keep our two plants alive. Brownie points if they flower.
  4. Remain faithful to me…..by liking all of my Instagram posts.
  5. Don’t read my diary.
  6. Don’t watch the last two episodes of Game of Thrones without me. This is as bad as cheating.
  7. Eat some vegetables. Noodles and hot-dogs is not a stable diet.
  8. Reminder. Too much porn cause blindness. Spec savers has cheap check ups, don’t make me book one on return.

When Ivan heard these, he said “Ohhhhh mannnn that’s going to be hard!”.  I cleared my throat and said “Which ones exactly darling?”.  He said “The vegetables. Gross”.  I added yet another eye roll to my giant collection.

After all the laughing died down, I gave Ivan that stare. That stare that all girls know. That stare that says; You think i’m joking but you better know i’m not.

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